Wow, so much has happened since I last blogged, it feels like it was ages ago...sometimes I wish it was. There are times when it feels like Preston was just here making lunch with us and then times when it truly feels like an eternity past.
I can honestly say I am doing pretty good! I am constantly in awe of how God is leading me on this healing journey.... daily I have questions for him, momently I need him and he is there! He is a constant peace and powerful source of hope in my life. It's more real than anything I've ever known. I love being able to look back and remember how I felt, even a week ago and see since then what God has taught me and helped me through. I don't know the "proper" way to grieve, if there is such a thing, but God knows....and I trust him.
I feel as though I am actually beginning to accept Preston's death. It hurts to even say this, but I am getting more and more used to him not being here. Five months may be so short in the scheme of things, but when you face the emptiness every single waking moment it is an eternity. I miss him immensely, but I am accepting our new life little by little.
Next week is the beginning of a busy schedule for us! We are going to Vegas, which may seem like such an odd place to go under the circumstances, but it's for a great reason. I can't say to many details on the blog, but I am speaking at an insurance conference! Kind of like being an advocate for them. Our story will be shared in a very emotional video which I just watched and boy did I cry! Then I will come up and speak for a few minutes. Please pray that I don't pass out on stage or spit on the audience... ha ha! But for real, pray that I do a good job and that God will use me.
After that the time should zoom by to when I get to meet my sweet little baby! And in the third "uncomfortable" trimester I am so thankful! Between now and then my mother in law is coming and then my sister will visit, followed by my parents and I have a ton of baby showers - tis the season to have a baby! Then my best buddy and our kids will take a little trip, oh and Jake will be turning two! I cannot even believe it has been two years!
Please pray for our future - I know that is a very vague request, but God knows those details! And for our healing. I will never be able to thank you all enough for praying for us!!! I am so so grateful! And I really appreciate all your sweet notes, I read and take each one to heart.
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